So I went on holiday. Week in Majorca on a Thompson Gold holiday which is one of those ones where the resort doesn't let anyone under 18 stay... so NO KIDS!! Fucking awesome!
Only problem is it goes right the other end as we were about the only people there under the age of 70. This had advantages like pretty much having the massive pool to ourselves and decent food and entertainment (hey, I like a bit of 60s music when Im drunk) but the comedy downside was the reps over the loudspeaker every hour saying "And now if you want to make your way to the poolside stage, Chelsea will show you how to make jewlery, followed by a nice game of French bowls!"
All very rock and roll.
Was a struggle not to kick some of the old farts though. Its like the evening buffet was crazy. Loads of choice and really nice stuff as well. But you'd still have them shuffling about going "Ohh.... I dont like this. This isnt how we make it at home is it?"
You arent AT home you dumb fucks. Thats the point. Its supposed to be different. But then these are probably the older versions of the pricks who spend money to go to spain then spend all their time in a "traditional english pub!" when they get there and paying extra so they can still drink their John Smiths bitter.
Bottom line though - wife in bikini = good holiday.