I'm a Twitter-crite

Yeah, after ripping it for months, I caved and got a Twitter account

http://twitter.com/welshbluemeanie

I can see the appeal of it and when you use it through something like Tweetdeck its a cool little instant messenger type thing. Gotta be honest I only got it as my brother uses it and he's a fucker to pin down at the best of times, so this was a way to get hold of him. Still dont approve of people linking it to their Facebook though as seen through that it makes no fucking sense.

BUT, some of the fucking shit that people post on there is just dumb. I mean, todays one seems to be

I'm on a mission today! Please help @stephenfry pass 1 million followers today #frymillion !

What? Lets all join fucking hands and get Stephen Fry a million followers? Why?
I know he seems to be the Twitter equivalent of that Tom guy everyone got when they created a Myspace page (ahhhh, remember Myspace) but seriously? I mean last week it actually made the news that he was going to delete his Twitter account because someone dared to call him boring! Do we really need to masturbate the fuckers ego this much? He's rich, successful, talented, respected... when's it enough? And if strangers following him on Twitter is his yardstick then he's obviously not as intelligent as he appears.

What was the other one?
oh yeah - Rememberence day. Now firstly Im not having a go at the day. Its important, ok?
BUT there was a thing going over twitter about how everyone should tweet a blank tweet at 11pm as a virtual silence. How fucking retarded is that? You might as well shout out the window "IM BEING QUIET!".

And the other thing is still celebrities in general on there. Now I have a few "famous" people on mine, but unless you read comics, and specifically 2000AD you wont know them. Also they are all people I have talked to a bit and who know who I am in the real world, so while I wouldnt presume to call them friends, I would get a "Hey, hows it going" if I passed them in the street.
Now not saying you shouldnt follow famous people if you are a fan and want to keep up with what they are doing. But the constant "Look at me, look at me" shit is just pathetic.
I mean I saw someone yesterday posting a message to Jonathan Ross which basically said "What was that show you used to do with so and so. I could look it up but thought I'd ask you directly". Whats the fucking point of that? The guy has hundreds of thousands of followers. You really think he's that starved for attention he's going to respond to every awkward attempt at getting noticed?

So yeah, I'm not following any famous people. Would I ever? Probably not, but you never know. Hell, Im not even following Dita von Teese on there, but thats mainly because I have a bad feeling if I did I'd decide she was pissing me off after a few days so I'd rather keep with the silent images thanks. And on that note... :)

Some more crap

Fucking Swine Flu!
Yeah - I had it. So did the wife. It sucked too. Proper burning up flu with added throwing up, always a plus. Problem I have now though is with work. YOu see I was off for 6 days and work say that because of that I need a note from the doctors. Rang the docs who say "No, you only need one after 7, so we wont give you one". Everything I've checked online says its after 5 but ringing the docs back I get the "We are the doctors, WE know the rules and we are telling you its 7".
Kinda stuck now. Of course the clever move would have been for me to stay home today even though I'm not feeling that bad, clock up my 7th day and job done. Too fucking honest for my own good sometimes.

How stupid do people think I am?
So I get the standard "My computer is being weird on its own" message I get a lot and go look at someones pc. They are getting a popup from Mcafee saying there is a virus that needs cleaning, but we dont HAVE Mcafee on our work pc's so this is obviously a virus or some kind of malware itself. I point this out and get the "Well dont look at me, I never put anything on my pc I shouldnt"
This despite the fact that the whole time the cursor on the screen has been followed by a pink, sparkly "Sexy" leaving little trails of fairy dust. Surprisingly this isnt part of windows. Neither are all the flash games and "Fun Smileys" that somehow got on the pc without anyone knowing how.
-sigh-

Fuck you Morrisey
Did I bitch about him walking off stage mid gig at a festival because he could smell someone cooking burgers? Well this isnt as bad, but apparently he was hit by a plastic bottle two songs into a gig and again walked off and refused to come back out. Now Im not saying shit like that should fly or that the person who did it shouldnt have their arse kicked. But to snub a room full of fans because of one prick is taking the piss. He needs to stop being such a little fucking princess.

Quickie

That couple who got kidnapped off their boat of Somalia. And the pirates who have them.....
You know what, if you are going to be a fucking pirate have the balls to fucking act like one. That means when you demand seven FUCKING MILLION for 2 pensioners return at least be honest that its for you and your other cowardly cocksucker crew. Dont fucking pretend its a political thing because of fishing rights or some such shit as there is no way if you got the money you'd go all Robin Hood with it.

Seriously, I hope right now theres some SAS motherfucker on his way to blow their fucking brains out.

Feeling sick so lets rip on some shit

Fuck you Westlife
Story here basically its one of the cocksuckers saying how he doesnt feel another of the cocksuckers who left could come back because the "band has moved on". YOU ARENT A FUCKING BAND! Bands play instruments and write songs. You pricks sit on stools and sing overproduced songs you are given to fat chicks to cant get a boyfriend. How exactly have you moved on musically? All he has do do is learn the new songs kareoke style. Hell, most songs only one of you sing and the others just mouth the words to anyway. And who the fuck is still buying this shit? Surely their fans from the 90's are now all single mums who cant afford to buy all this crap any more.
And on the boyband thing, I cant find the link now... oh, here it is, but there was a story about how Boyzone are going to do a Stephen Gately (the one who died if you dont know) tribute on X-Factor and also possible debut their new comeback single. No shit you fuckers. No shit. How about putting a pic of him on the cover with angel wings as well? Or you could go the more accurate "on his back in a pool of vomit" option.

For fucks sake.....
Apparently there are schools which are fighting truancy by giving ipods and sweets to the kids with the best attendance. Heres a cheaper idea, why not just fucking kick out the ones who dont show up. Or failing that, fine the parents as I'm sure a lot of them will come from the type of families where they'd get a good fucking kicking if dad got a £500 bill for his kid bunking off.

Am I a bad person?

There's this news story about a couple who have gone missing after their yacht was apparently taken by pirates off the coast of Somalia. I just cant seem to give a shit.

I mean, firstly the story is all about them on their fucking yacht which doesnt exactly scream "Poor you" and secondly, they were off the coast of fucking Somalia which I even know is bad for that kind of thing and dont even own an inflatable dingy.
Granted its still not good and not giving me the same grin I get seeing a BMW broken down at the side of the road, but still. Not pressing my empathy buttons

Yeah - I've been away

So I went on holiday. Week in Majorca on a Thompson Gold holiday which is one of those ones where the resort doesn't let anyone under 18 stay... so NO KIDS!! Fucking awesome!
Only problem is it goes right the other end as we were about the only people there under the age of 70. This had advantages like pretty much having the massive pool to ourselves and decent food and entertainment (hey, I like a bit of 60s music when Im drunk) but the comedy downside was the reps over the loudspeaker every hour saying "And now if you want to make your way to the poolside stage, Chelsea will show you how to make jewlery, followed by a nice game of French bowls!"
All very rock and roll.

Was a struggle not to kick some of the old farts though. Its like the evening buffet was crazy. Loads of choice and really nice stuff as well. But you'd still have them shuffling about going "Ohh.... I dont like this. This isnt how we make it at home is it?"
You arent AT home you dumb fucks. Thats the point. Its supposed to be different. But then these are probably the older versions of the pricks who spend money to go to spain then spend all their time in a "traditional english pub!" when they get there and paying extra so they can still drink their John Smiths bitter.

Bottom line though - wife in bikini = good holiday.

The Birmingham Comic Con thing & my new website

Do the website thing first...
As I have three graphic novels in the works and a fourth looking a distinct possibility, I figured I might as well do a website about my writing stuff if for no other reason than it makes me look slightly more professional and might make a difference if someone is deciding whether to let me write shit for them.

so here it is

OK, Birmingham Comic Con.
Short version is that we got there at 2pm on the Friday, decided to go get some food. Went to a pub, so had a beer with the meal, then were still there at 7:30 when it was time to go to the launch party by which time of course I was more than a little pissed. So once again the con was all about the drinking.... Hurrah!!
The Friday night was fun though, got to meet a few of the 2000Ad guys I'd spoken to online and through the podcast and Al Ewing bought me a beer which rocked as I kinda had it in my head he was just going to call me an idiot. I was also licked by 2000Ad artist PJ Holden which was kinda odd.
I got to meet the girl who is doing my Snow graphic novel and who is LOVELY! Weird, but lovely, as all good artists should be I suppose. And yeah... did a few panels, bought some stuff, chatted with my publishers who were all very encouraging and also hopefully scored another writing gig.
Hit the pub at 5 on Saturday, where I weirdly spent about an hour with Doctor Who writer Paul Cornell, and had to crawl back to the hotel at midnight due to a late wave of "I might not be a nice drunk at the moment, I should go before I piss the wife off".
Sunday was all about taking it easy
Loads of pics here which hopefully anyone can view.
Right, now I have to go to my other site to do the professional writer-y version of it all :)

Grrrr

You know those fish people put on their cars? These ones?
A lot of people think these mean that the driver is christian or its an "I'm driving with Jesus" thing.
This is wrong.

I've been stuck behind a few the last week and what it really means is "I drive like I have no arms or legs and am constantly fighting to breathe air"

Was a politician thing that pissed me off this week. Well, two actually as I've also had a bit of the arse about people putting political shit on their facebook. I mean, who fucking cares. Its supposed to be a fun, stupid network thing, not a platform for you to tell us what you think about fucking health care. But my real one was THIS story. Short version its Labour politicial Harriet Harman trying to make a big deal about a dumb platform she has found. Basically she's bitching about a website based in California on which people rate prostitutes, including ones in the UK. She obviously finds this terribly offensive and degrading to women, especially ones like her who nobody would EVER pay to fuck, and wants the site shut down.
Now this is all fair enough I suppose, but in a pathetic attempt to get some publicity she's addressed her complaints directly at the governor, Arnold Schwarzenneger. And not only that but.... I'll just quote it..
"Surely it can't be too difficult for The Terminator to terminate PunterNet and that's what I'm demanding he does. And if he doesn't, I've got a message for Arnie: I'll be back."
Seriously, dont you just want to punch her in her smug fucking mouth? And you know what else you dumb bitch, all this has done has increased the websites hits x100 as nobody had heard of it before you came up with your clever little soundbite. Now why dont you go back home and try and come up with a way to ask Clint Eastwood if he feels lucky.

Defending the indefensible - the BNP

Ok, so there is a tv program in the UK called Question Time thats been running for 30 years in which a panel of politicians face a large studio audience and have to answer any political question asked. All well and good, but there is currently a big stink going on due to the BNP leader Nick Griffin being due to appear, the first time someone from the BNP has.
Not only are there due to be protestors outside the BBC when this happens, but apparently the technicians union are encouraging their members to refuse to work on the program, effectively shutting it down.

Now just to be INCREDIBLY CLEAR Im not saying the BNP is a good thing or any crap like that. But seeing as they have won seats at elections and therefore represent a percentage of the population I am saying they have every right to appear on a political show like this. Especially one on the BBC which is duty bound to represent everyone, not just the nice people. Yeah, you might not agree with them, but you probably dont agree with Labour and Conservative and the Green Party either. Its not like the guy is gonna get an easy ride anyway, I imagine he is in for a world of abuse when the show starts.

If they were giving the "All non white people should be stoned" line or generally inciting violence then yeah, they shouldnt be on, same as the IRA, but pretty sure they arent doing that. I'll be honest I dont follow politics but was under the impression they werent quite as crazy nazi as they used to be. Just doesnt seem right that they dont get to be on Question Time and be shown to be idiots just like the other parties morons. All these protests and hysterics are just giving them more publicity and allowing them to play the part of the calm rational ones who "just want a chance to speak". Gonna do more harm than good.

Just some stuff

Grabbing an egg and bacon roll for breakfast and speaking to the guy on the burger van. Apparently theres a place round the corner and last week the owner brought in his TWO absolutely huge motor boats and got the guys who work for him to clean them. Then at the end of the day he announced that next week he would be laying off four of them, he knew who they were going to be, but wouldnt tell them till then.
YOu just wanna punch people like that dont ya?


Had to go to the doctors yesterday for a checkup on this minor op thing I had last week. Been there twice already, saw the same guy each time, no worries. Walked down there yesterday got SOAKED. Absolutely pissed it down so I turned up looking like a fucking vagrant. Did the doctor mind though? Of course not... because I didnt see him yesterday... I had to see foxy nurse lady.
God hates me.

Snow Posters

Got these emailed on Friday night and am now so excited about seeing this book come together as its put a totally different spin on the whole thing for me. Really changed how I'm seeing it all in my head, but in a good way. The email I had them sent in said "Posters that kinda suck" ... she's fucking insane. These are awesome! Have the one with the mirror as the wallpaper on my phone and kept grinning at it in the pub last night. Dont tell her that though, I'm trying to con her into thinking she is the one lucky to be working on my script ;)
Anyway, enough of my shit, check these out

Dita von Teese loves me

She knows Im already married to a hot chick as well which has to be all kinds of upsetting for her.
Poor girl. She's asked for loans but Iz is holding out for half of her shoe collection first.


Oh, quick thing.
Was driving into work this morning, stuck in traffic. In the back of the car next to me was this black guy about 25 or so. Totally bald, brushing his no hair with a hair brush without bristles... whilst looking into a hand held mirror.
What the fuck is that?
Was he polishing? I dont get it. Took me 10 minutes to get through this one bottleneck, he was doing it the entire time. I only take 10 seconds at the outside to brush my hair... AND I FUCKING HAVE HAIR!! People confuse me sometimes.

C'mon... even you have to admit she should die now!

So I had to get petrol this morning so saw the newstand and again the covers to ALL the papers were about Katie Price's celebrity rape.
Theres a full article here, but I'll rip out bits below if you cant be fucked.

Firstly, this is the WORST kind of celebrity whoring. She has had this so called rape in her back pocket as an ace for the last how ever many years, ready to pull out if she saw her "career" taking a turn. Papers and idiotic Hello and OK! magazine readers start to turn on her a bit so she pulls out this rape, gets on the cover of all the papers and can play the victim just when everyone is calling her a bitch. But then to let out part 2... "AND IT WAS A CELEBRITY WHO DID IT!" two weeks later just goes to show its nothing more than a fucking PR thing for her. Sure, she'll make out she's doing this for all the other women out there who were ever attacked, but the timing of this is so fucking transparent its sickening. Letting out the "story" in peices to maintain media interest even moreso.

Some quotes though:
Asked why she had not reported the rape at the time, Katie said she never wanted to speak about it again
Um... so why ARE you speaking about it now? Oh yeah, there were stories of you fucking around in Spain while your kids were home with a nanny and people were saying you were a horrible person so you needed to play a "poor me" card.

My fave though

Katie was also asked about Peter, saying that she had suffered ­several miscarriages during their ­marriage. She told the magazine: “I don’t want to talk about the other ­miscarriages I had because quite frankly that’s no one else’s ­business.”

No one else's business? This bitch fucking lives her entire life on camera, sells every fucking thought she has to magazines as a headline exclusive, has a fortune for doing absolutely fuck all other than living her life as a reality tv show... EVERYTHING is everyones business. You've sold your fucking soul, live with it.

I'll try not to rant on this cunt again for a while... but next week when the papers have the "I was raped by a famous celebrity whose first initial is...." and we begin 3 months of playing
"rapist hangman" I might jump back in.

This whole Kanye West thing.... just a thought

Ok, firstly if you came up to me and said you'd give me a million quid if I could hum a few bars of either a Taylor Swift or Kanye West song... I'd be one pissed off and still skint fucker. Know OF them, dont think I've ever heard a song BY either of them or if I have not associated it with them.

But this MTV thing last night. Apparently she was accepting an award for best female video at the MTV awards and was stopped by Kanye West who got up on stage and took the mic off her to say Beyonce should have won it. Not only that but she was in the middle of talking about how difficult it is for a country singer to make the crossover to MTV.

Ok... here's where I'd like to play the race card please. I know Im white and therefore not supposed to or make out its a 2 way street, but fuck it. I think I got an argument here.

As she said, her getting on MTV wasnt too easy being a country singer. Now I dont watch regular MTV channels, not my kind of music. But sometimes I'll be in a pub where they play them and I'm honestly not exaggerating if I say I've sat there all night and not seen a single white face on there. Thats fine, I got no problem with that. Not sure if MTV america is different to the UK version Im probably seeing, doubt it. The stuff labelled "black" music or MOBO is whats popular now so all well and good, they should play what most people want to hear.

But like Ms Swift was saying, her getting her music onto the playlist is a pretty big deal, her winning the award moreso and then to be interrupted by a rapper saying Beyonce shoulda won?

Ok - lets flip it.

Imagine if it was the other way around and MTV was all about country music. All day all you had was guys in cowboy hats and women sat on horses. Soul and rap music was considered uncool by kids all over the country and you never saw any on the tv apart from on the one specialised channel.
Then Beyonce brings out records so good that kids think "Hey, this shit is ok." and breaks a few boundaries. And she wins a proper MTV award, not the "soul only" category, and while she is saying how important it is for this music to reach new people Garth Brooks comes on, pulls the mic of her and says its all bollocks and where the fuck is Shania Twain.

What do you think the reaction would be? Would people just be calling him rude, or would he be labelled a racist bastard? Im pretty sure it'd be the latter and to be honest I dont really see how this should be looked at differently just because the colours are the other way around.

Probably just me again though.

Would add though that later when Beyonce won an award she apparently asked Taylor Swift back up onstage to have her moment, so while Im not a fan of her music - Good on you mate, that showed fucking class. Unlike that other prick who I hope gets some serious backlash from this.

More random stuff

Mybrute
Im still weirdly addicted to Mybrute, the totally pointless un-interactive online thing. God knows why, especially as my guy seems to have fucking polio or something. Seriously, he's a retard.
Maybe Im selling it short and its really an incredibly clever system and its worked out that he's got brain damage from all the fighting and its perfectly recreating that.
Check out the spaz - http://welshbluemeanie.mybrute.com

Fianceeeeeeeeeeeee
So theres this guy I know on Facebook. He's engaged to this girl, he's happy about it. Good for him and all that. But he's constantly posting "My fiancee likes this" , "Wish I was with my fiancee" and its like GAAAH! FUCKING HATE THAT WORD!
I mean, I was engaged for a year or so. I love my girl to bits, I had a huge sense of "Hey! Everyone! Look what I got! Check her out! And she's gonna MARRY me?!?!" but never used the F word. Just creeps me out for some reason. Know Iz was the same... tho she always preferred to introduce me as "This is my bee-atch". Prefer that to fucking fiaannnnceee! Especially when you are talking to people who already know you. Yeah you could say "This is Jenny, my fiancee" the first time, but once everyone knows her name ITS JUST FUCKING JENNY! Shit, its like you get attached to someone and then its all job titles.
"Fiancee"
"Wife"
"Mother of my children"
"Alimony recipient"
Probably why I love this clip so much


Birmingham Comic Con
All sorted! My pro pass is approved and on its way to me though I still feel a little like when I was 16 sneaking into 18 certificate horror films. Like Im gonna get found out and kicked out at any moment.
Anyway, hoping to have some beers with the 2000AD guys. Meeting up with the artist on Snow so we can bounce around a few ideas. And also hoping Mark is gonna be able to come along so we can start to build up a bit of momentum for Damaged Goods. Part of me thinks I should also be putting together pitches and a list of people to annoy with them, but as I have two books on the go at the moment probably best I focus on them and worry about the next thing at Bristol once Damaged Goods is in the can. Plus of course all this real stuff gets in the way of serious bar time.

Insomnia News... in reverse

Well they've done a big press release thing about BICS which is all well and good, but seeing as there is a bit of tiinnny news thats about me, Im putting in first so tough shit!

Right - Snow.

I mentioned this before, its the full length graphic novel I'm writing for them and we've had a bit of trouble getting an artist. A few REALLY talented people have tried out but its a weird book and nothing was really fitting. Also its tough to find someone who can do the weird shit and also handle the fact the main character is a female who has to look in turn sexy, vulnerable, then insane.
Anyway, the artist we've got is called Valia and you can check out some more of her work here and I've put up a pic as well. She is also going to have a table at BICS where you can buy her comic "100% Mushy" and has drawn me a Bride of Frankenstein pic, so obviously I now think she rocks.

Love how it doesnt look too much like what you think of as traditional comic book art and has more of a storybook illustration feel which should really suit the story. Still fucking amazed how lucky I've been with artists on the stuff I've done. Talking of which Mark is STILL blowing me away with Damaged Goods art and Im a bit pissed how amazing it is as when it comes out he is definately gonna get snapped up to do other stuff. He's just too good. He needs to be doing a 30 Days of Night or something.

Anyway, now I have an artist onboard I need to focus on this book a little more and it'll really help me being able to visualise how it will look now I know who will draw it. I will of course bore anyone reading this with details as and when.

Onto the real Insomnia press release thing which I have only edited slightly :

BICS will see the launch of Burke and Hare (first of the Vigil books) by Martin Conaghan and Will Pickering, Buskers (con special edition with a VCD) by Jeymes Samuel, Sean Michael Wilson and Michiru Morikawa (who has a panel and talk at the show) and finally MILK by Stref (limited ed hardback will be available at the con).

As usual we will be doing special offers on the books as follows:

*3 for £20 on all standard edition books
* Any special ed + one standard ed for £20

and the following special con prices

Standard Editions
Burke and Hare (RRP £12.99) Con Price £10
Cancertown (RRP 14.99) Con Price £10
Cages (RRP 10.99) Con Price £8
Layer Zero Choices (RRP £9.99) Con Price £7 (This is the best one due to it containing a story by the immensly talented and handsome Richard McAuliffe)

Special Editions
Buskers (RRP £14.99) Con Price £12
MILK (RRP £19.99) Con Price £15

People will be able to reserve these to pick up on the day, or order direct from us by 3rd of October if they cannot make the con.

More Random Stuff

I'm gonna be in the Judge Dredd Megazine
Yeah, not as a writer unfortunately... but it'll come. You hear me Tharg you green skinned, jaffa cake forehead mother fucker... it'll come! But for now the very cool Alec Worley has written an article on comic book podcasts and threw some questions at me the answers to which will be part of the whole thing. Pretty cool getting a namecheck in the mag though. Of course Im a little worried people will start listening to us now!
Oh, and on the 2000AD thing, doing an interview with Leigh Gallagher on Thursday. Should be fun.

I wanna nail Sondra Locke!
No, seriously. We got drunk and watched Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can on Friday night. She's in both. She cant act, she cant sing, and shes worlds of plain. So she must be the most INCREDIBLE fuck on the planet. Only explanation. You could turn the lights off and think of someone hot. It'd rock. It must do.

Im a fucking snob
Went for a chinese this afternoon. Just one of those all you can eat buffet deals. Actually surprised myself how annoyed I was getting with the moronic mouth breathers in there and their screaming fucking kids. Worst of all Im at the food thing. Theres a guy there with his 4 year old daughter trying to talk her though the buffet.
"You want one of these? They are... oh.. lets see.. prawn toast. Do you like prawn toast? Do you? Do you like it? Shall we try some?".
Was doing this reading every little label while a queue built up of people waiting for him to move his fucking arse. And all he did was look up every 30 seconds with that "Ahhh, arent kids magical?" look and the rest of the morons all grinned back.
Heard someone say "Im gonna turn that little fuck into a statistic if he doesnt get her the fuck out of here soon" .... from the looks I got I think it might have been me. :) I'm nice I am.

I am also SO fucking CUTE!!
Coz I bought the wife these. She loved them, I rock.

This Aint Star Trek!!

So Im on a bit of a Trek kick at the moment, mainly due to the wife having a renewed interest in it, in no small part due to her being rather fond of Zachary Quinto as Spock.
So we actually watched the entire first season of the old Treks as I got the remastered box set and are even working through the movies and have done the first three.

Question is, will I get this one the playlist? (and its ok, this trailer is totally suitable for work)


ah... you never know. After a few bottles of wine perhaps ;)

But I'd still love to check this out as just from the trailer I was laughing at all the nerdy injokes. I remember an interview with Tim Burton where he said he knew he'd made it as a film maker once the first porn parody of one of his flicks came out. Do wonder if stuff like this makes money though as you would imagine the budget to be a hell of a lot higher than your usual "Theres an empty room with a bed in it...GO" movie. I mean, do people really want funny stuff between their porn scenes and do they care about a pretty well done recreation of the Enterprise bridge set? Possibly, hell, I'm talking about it. Not that I'd even pay for this kinda stuff though. I mean, there are only two pornstars who have ever gotten money off me. Jenna Jameson when I bought her autobiography for the wife, and Ron Jeremy when I got his for me. I suppose you could technically also say Jameson made money when I bought the AWESOME Zombie Strippers, but not really counting that.

Anyway, the REAL Star Trek porn doesnt come out till November. I mean, did you see some of the shots of the Enterprise in that movie? Whuf! .....yeah, I am that sad

Random Growlage

1) Giggly Woman in work is still being giggly woman in work. This does my head in when its "We have no milk... HAHAHAHAAAHAHA" but today when there is a server problem and Im stressing like fuck and she's doing it I start making a note where all the scissors in the office are. Not good.

2) I fucking hate people hiding behind the mental illness thing because you know what... EVERY fucker is mentally ill, theres just levels to it. All this "I have depression... treat me special" bullshit is just that. And worst of all is that dopey fat talentless cunt Kerry Katona. One minute she is all "I'm bi-polar, thats why I do drugs, feel sorry for me" and the next she's doing a fucking reality show about it and playing it like its a fucking cartoon where she has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Its like its a gimmick to keep her life on camera going a bit longer.
I've done the crazy thing for a while. Its not a fucking t-shirt you wear.

3) Cricket. I just fucking hate cricket. It slow as shit, takes 4 days to play a game, has scores up in the 100's and STILL somehow works out as a draw sometimes. Sums it up when you hear a commentator say "Well, their best bet now is to hope for rain tomorrow". If your winning a sport relies on shitty weather cutting it short then you can get fucked. Play in the rain you fucking girls. Of course this is probably still all bitterness from being a kid, coming home from school, looking forward to watching Buster Crabbe kick ass on Flash Gordon re-runs on BBC2, then getting told "Tonights episode of Flash Gordon is cancelled so that we can bring you another hour of the cricket that has been on all fucking day". Bunch of cocksuckers. Flash would kick your ass, even if it was slightly overcast.

4) "FAIL". Sorry, seen it again. This one word dismissive fucking review/comment/whatever. Makes me fucking evil as I cant imagine anyone saying it without an arrogant "Please fucking punch me" expression on their face. I should add a "FAIL" button to this blog really.

5) My job description. Only that Im pretty sure IT doesnt cover being called to the factory to be asked "Where can I download a good copy of Transformers 2?"

On the plus side though, my girl makes a HOT vampire chick :)


Izobel McAuliffe

















and... why I love Frankie Boyle

How do "worthy" movies make any money?

Ok, gotta be careful how I word this as it would be easy for me to come across as stupid... yeah, big fucking change.

Anyway, I am "friends" with Rufus Dayglo on Facebook. I put the commas in because this really means I'm a big fucking fan of his work, Im not delusional enough to think this makes us best buds or anything. Anyway, for those who dont know he is the artist on Tank Girl and would appear to also be mates with Lori Petty as he was mentioning her new movie The Poker House which she doesnt star in, but wrote and directed.

So as I've always had a bit of a thing for the lovely and talented Ms Petty ever since she saved Point Break from being a total sausage fest and was kickass in the Tank Girl movie, I was interested and had a bit of a look into it, watched the trailer etc etc

Turns out the movie is the true story of her childhood and chronicles the 24 hour period during which her mothers pimp raped her as a 15 year old.

Now what struck me is WHO goes to see a movie like this? Im not knocking the art or talent that goes into it, or saying films like this shouldnt be made or that they dont deserve to do well.
Its just.... how do they make money? Who is the audience to justify it. And again thats PURELY mercenary financial justification, not artistic. This movie costs money to make, someone has to think they'll at least make this money back, its the nature of the beast. Dont think there is such a thing as art for art's sake any more. You could have a room of 50 very clever people saying it is a work of genius, but that aint gonna cover the budget.

Its like I could NEVER see this movie. Seriously, never. But thats me. I can watch blood and guts on the screen all day, but even an implied rape scene actually makes me feel physically sick. I'd never willingly put myself through how I know this movie would effect me. It may well have an uplifting "Coming through adversity" ending, I dont know if it does or not, but even so the destination for me wouldnt be worth the journey. And if the whole movie is set around the house in which she lives with her drugged up, prostitute mother its not like the rest of it is likely to be any less bleak.
Its not exactly a date movie or even a popcorn one. Even on dvd while it is something I could imagine people seeing, would you buy the dvd so you could watch it multiple times? Would you recommend it to friends or even talk about it due to its subject matter being such a harrowing one, particularly knowing it actually happened?

Its like horrible stuff happens in horror movies (durrr) but then its more of a rollercoaster feel. This is more like a punch to the gut I imagine. Get the feeling its one that its fans will say you "should see" rather than you'll "want to see".

I do hope it does well, Im just struggling to work out how. But hell, Schindlers List made a fortune even if Im sure a lot of people went to see that just to avoid the "You havent seen it? Dont you CARE what happened?" questions.